Stupid Medical Stock Photography

August 21, 2019 Chris Brubaker

We recently rebranded Suki and like most rebranding efforts, you need photography.  One easy way to get said photography is to use the stock photography companies such as Getty Images, Shutterstock, or many others.  Some of the photos are beautiful and stunning and can help capture the feeling you want to embody your brand; others are simply terrible.  This article is about the others.  These are the worst medical stock photos we came across during our rebrand.  In what (medical) world would these ever apply?  Take a look for yourself.

In the stock photography world, the median age of doctors is 25 and they always have a stethoscope.  They usually have a clipboard.

Young doctor with stethoscope and clipboard

Young male doctor

Doctors are happy all the time.

Three happy doctors giving thumbs up sign

Five happy doctors with hands raised

She’s probably happy about her cool new stethoscope

Female doctor with two thumbs up

There’s probably good news on that clipboard

Families are happy along with the happy doctors.

Happy family with happy doctors in the background

Everyone is happy in medical stock photography, even small children getting a shot.

Young girl getting a shot

Young girl getting a shot and giving a thumbs up

Most medical facilities use Minority Report style technology, but where Tom Cruise used his hands to solve crime, doctors use their stethoscope to operate it.

Fancy healthcare UI

Doctor using futuristic imaging machine

Doctors are like superheroes in that they can stop things with their minds.

Doctor with palm up

Doctor with palm up

Doctor with palm up

Wait, doctors are not like superheroes, they are actual superheroes!

Superhero doctor opening shirt

I’m getting a Zorro vibe here, you know, if Zorro used a stethoscope.

Zorro doctor

Uh, what?  You know...uh...I...I'm just going to leave this one alone.

Doctors with guns

Doctors sit neatly in rows.  They still have their stethoscopes and clipboards.

Doctors in a meeting

So many things wrong with this one.  The caption is literally, “Girl doctor stressed out in lime green.”  Girl doctor?  WTF? And even though she’s pretending to be stressed out, doesn’t it look like she’s actually kind of happy?  And she still has her stethoscope.  That’s how we know she’s a doctor.

Doctor going crazy in bad clothes

Doctors bring their stethoscope literally everywhere, including tropical beaches.

Doctor on beach with stethoscope

Have you ever seen anyone happier.  Literally leaping in a meadow with excitement. And he still has his stethoscope.

Doctor jumping

You’d need about $6,000 to purchase the rights to all the above photos.  I’ll gladly pay that to not be forced to use them.

Some things we learned about doctors during this exercise:

  • They are the most joyous people in the world in literally all situations
  • They bring their stethoscopes with them everywhere, even if they are the type of doctor that doesn’t use a stethoscope.
  • Oh, and medical stock photography bears no resemblance to the real world.

The world of medical stock photography is truly magical.  May we all live there some day.

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